Why Flying with An Infant Can Be Easier Than You Think

Those first six months are what they warn you about: “Get your rest now blah blah blah.” And yeah, they’re just so…tiny…and unpredictable…and needy…and awake… The sheer exhaustion of keeping a teeny little person happy within the confines of my own home is enough. So why travel with this little bundle of snuggly trouble? For me, I had no choice (if I did, who knows where on the “traveling with kids” spectrum I’d fall).

When my first-born was five weeks old, my brand new daughter, husband, and I flew to be with my mother. My father had suddenly passed away four days before I went into labor, and this was the first time I was able to fly to the home he and my mother shared. With all of these happenings swirling around me, I can confidently say I flew without fear, excitement, anxiety, or anticipation. In this massive storm of birth and death, I flew without any emotion. This made the business of flying with a newborn merely about the business and practicality of actually flying with a newborn. I never thought about it. I just did it. Over the course of the next six months, my daughter and I flew seven or eight times together, sometimes with my husband, sometimes alone, sometimes alone with our dog. It was easy. She was still so little. So pliable. And that’s what made it easiest.

Looking back on it (and dealing with it again and again with subsequent little people), I can pinpoint some of those reasons that made flying with an under six-month-old infant so beautifully, blissfully easy.

• Food: Teeny little people really don’t need much in terms of food. It’s amazing (not to mention it frees up precious, precious packing space). No worrying about having enough snacks or the proper variety of snacks. I don’t have to make sure I had the current snack of the week (you know the one that the older child is apparently repulsed by the moment she has convince me to buy a gargantuan amount of). No stress about how to feed lunch to a kid who will only eat T-Rex dinosaur chicken nuggets at three minutes past noon every third Monday of the month. It’s breastmilk or formula. That’s it. (And I am aware of my rights as a breastfeeding mother traveling with an infant, something most TSA agents are not aware of.) The added benefit is that in those moments that I always anticipate my infant will cry, take off and landing, it is so simple to just nurse my tiny. And that comes with the added bonus of putting my teeny little person right to sleep.
• Toys: What toys? It’s a person who’s smaller than a pillow. I pack just a few toys for my littlest people when I travel. In all honesty, I prefer to find something safe in my surroundings. If my tiny little one wants to play with a wooden spoon, have at it. Here’s the lid to a Tupperware container. What? You want to chomp on a remote? Let me run a baby wipe over it (seriously what is in those magic little cloths?) and take out the batteries. It’s all yours. The point is, when dealing with a little this age, 80% of my carry on tote is still mine (you know, to be filled with the books I’ll never have time to read, the New Yorker magazines that have been collecting dust for years).
• Judgment: When my husband and I flew to Japan we managed to nearly clear out an entire first class cabin. How? We brought our four year old and one and a half year old (in the interest of full disclosure, my husband is a bit obsessive (understatement) about miles and points, and the littles and I reap the benefits of this neuroses). There was a general sense of loud camaraderie as we were all about to embark on this journey. But as the other passengers started to notice that a tiny-for-her-age four year old was sitting by herself and a 1.5 year old was peering from the lap of some pregnant lady, one by one the people slipped away as they switched cabins. They’d whisper, slide by, and just disappear. The unfortunate truth is people generally expect the worst of children flying on a plane, and they don’t want to have any knowledge of the existence of a child, so they are overtaken by fear and anger. As frustrating as this can be as a parent, I’ve come to realize people are far more compassionate towards my youngest child than they are towards the older. It seems infant cries are forgivable. Toddler cries are not. Toddler cries are clearly because the toddler is spoiled and the parent is neglectful. Infant cries are just a helpless creature navigating this great big world.
• Exploring: I have every type of baby carrier ever made. In the history of baby carriers. Ever. (Joking (not joking).) I have this belief, in fact I still have it deep within me, that when I find the perfect baby carrier, I will find the perfect stroller, and then I will find the perfect life. Perfect body, perfect house, perfect job all trickle back to that single Holy Grail: the perfect for all situations baby carrier. Life and the ability to easily move and explore are directly correlated. An infant plays a perfect part in this. My teeny littles have always been the easiest to move and explore with. First of all, it is much more comfortable to wear an infant than it is to wear a toddler. When my husband and I climbed the narrow steps that were rubbed slippery-smooth from wear at the Basilica di San Marco in Venice, Italy, I wore my baby and easily made it up those stairs. (I did not make it as easily down, but that had nothing to do with the baby.) It was no big deal. And in Venice, there were no switchback ramps to get the stroller onto the canal bridges. But, she was little. I picked a light stroller. The steps were few. At least I think they were. I barely remember because it was just no big deal. And the surrounding water? Everywhere? That is not walled off? My daughter was young. She had no desire to walk or run around. She enjoyed her view from her stroller, so I wasn’t afraid of those edges. They just weren’t a big deal. It is so easy to explore with an infant. They don’t mind going to museums or wandering a market place. Tiny people spend every day exploring their new world, so they’re content to explore the world with you, whether it’s the backyard or a new country.
• Sleep: I rush to get my children in some kind of regular sleep schedule. I’m not afraid to admit that I am a huge advocate for sleep training. That’s just how my life is. If I want to be even remotely reasonable, I need to sleep. If people around me want to be safe, I need sleep. I take naps and night time seriously, but traveling I just have to let it go to a degree. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not comfortable letting my littles slip into exhaustion-fueled frenzies.) But there’s something less stressful about an infant. While they need sleep, they have the magical gift of being able to fall asleep anywhere (my husband also seems to have this gift). And generally pretty easily too. In contrast, my still-napping 2 year old will rarely fall asleep anywhere but his bed (or hotel room crib when traveling) unless he is exhausted. And if he does, it can be a pretty ugly sight to behold in those minutes before sleep wins. This isn’t the case for the tiny people. They fall asleep in car seats, in strollers, in carriers, in arms. And if
  my infant son is struggling, we adjust. For instance, my daughter just soaked the world in with wide eyes when she was tiny, so I would put her in the Ergo. Within minutes she would be asleep, and I could put her back into her stroller to nap (a delicate but doable undertaking). Easy peasy. No hotel crib required. Little people still take their naps, even as the world moves around them, so you can explore without running to your hotel and frantically shushing everyone within 400 feet of your room. (To be fair, on long trips, we do plan a down day every third day or so for our two youngest (toddler and infant) to take a proper nap.)

At first thought, traveling, and flying, with an infant can seem intimidating, but it really is the easiest time to start. Being forced to travel when young, my daughter has no travel anxiety or fear. She has her own “must haves,” her own habits once on board. She is filled with curiosity. She explores. She encourages us to do the same. And because I started when she was young and manageable, a tiny ball of snuggles, I’ve had the confidence to travel with my little people since my little people made their first travel-ready appearance in this world.